It's sad you know? You think...or thought you knew someone and then you find out that the whole time your relationship was just a bunch of lies. How can he expect to meet someone if he immediately starts the relationship with lies? He's so untrusting with you because he knows how he is, and if he knows how he is, then OF COURSE that means you'd do it to him....oh wait. Why can't people just be honest? What is so hard about all that? Yeah...it might not be something the person wants to hear but I can promise you that the "hurt" of knowing the truth is a lot better than finding out what you thought was the "truth" is a complete lie and is bullshit. Even after an X amount of time of being broke up, still doesn't mean it hurts any less to find out yet ANOTHER lie. It just makes me think...how much of my life was "wasted". And yet here I am...still pissed and bitter even though I feel it should make me happy knowing that it did only last X months and not any more longer than it did. Why am I still so hurt from all of this? It's like I keep digging to find out more lies, thinking that it'll...I don't know...give me some closure on all of it but instead it just does the complete opposite. I find myself even more mad and resentful than I was before which causes me to be bitter and cry. Yes I am an emotional person which I fully admit, but I HATE crying. Especially for reasons like this. I know you can't always have the sunshine and rainbows in your life but I just am really starting to lose hope. Which wasn't ever like me, no matter what happened, I was always so optimistic for the future. Not just with my life situations, but hearing or seeing about others. I was "Charlotte" from Sex and the City, through and through. More and more you hear about people being untrue to others than you hear about the good people do. Is society truly getting worse or has it always been like this and people were just really good at covering it all up?
Aside from all these random thoughts and questions...what I'm trying to get at is....you can't start a relationship with a lie...
Sorry for the over use of quotations but...it felt necessary.
And you wonder why I got a cat.
And with all of that being said....I leave you with a quote. :)
Questions...COMMENTS...thoughts? :)
Don't EVER GIVE UP HOPE!! That's one of the reasons why we made such fast friends. We both have hope for the future, though it may waiver at times, it is not lost. We are also both honest and very emotional people. I LOVE THESE THINGS ABOUT YOU (and me)!! We'll eventually get through these rough patches we've been experiencing lately, it will just take some more time it seems. But I won't give up HOPE for us, and you damn well better not either!! I miss your smiling face and your laugh. I truly appreciate having you in my life as a friend <3
ReplyDeleteNow rock on with your bad self!!! :)
I'm sorry you've been through this. It just goes to show that that wasn't the relationship for you. No one should ever have to be lied to. You will definitely find someone who treats you with respect and love, which is what you deserve. Keep the faith Mandee! You're too gorgeous and have the best personality for anyone to not fall in love with you! :) Love ya!!
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